Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Quick Update

We've been really busy but just wanted to give a quick update. Great news-the babies have been transferred to the hospital that is literally right around the corner from our house, less than 2 minutes away. It is a level II nursery where they will stay until they come home. They are now considered feeder growers so they only need to learn how to take their feedings by bottle to be able to come home. They are all in open cribs now. Mattea's bradys (heart rate dips) have slowed way down, so much that she only had 4 in the past 24 hours. No issues with anyone and I get to see them much more now-yahoo!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Can't post pics...

I've tried unsuccessfully about 5 times now to download some pictures but my computer is not cooperating-sorry!

Happy 1 Week Birthday Babies...

Today our babies turn one week old. What amazing progress they've made this past week. They have impressed us beyond belief. We know that they will be coming home before we know it. We've been there every day to visit, feed them and hold them.

Despite ordering everything on the menu (Vent, CPAP, Survanta, Indocin), David is thriving. We found out his PDA was gone on Thursday with his repeat ultrasound on his heart. This was a huge relief. Because of this, he got to start his feeds that night through his feeding tube in his nose. He loves sucking, loves food, and loves to be cuddled. I also found out he is great at breastfeeding yesterday. It is an incredible feeling to be able to see his face, to watch his expressions and to let him see us with nothing in the way. His favorite way to hang out is on his belly. He wants what he wants when he wants it and doesn't like to mess around. He ripped his I.V. out Saturday morning and hasn't needed it since. I think he may be the most demanding but I also think he'll be a total mommy's boy. I secretly hope they both will be. He is totally snugalicous!

Frankie is doing amazing as well. He has been continuing with his tube feedings and has tried breastfeeding a few times with no success. He is just so laid back and he gets around there and looks around, plays around and ends up staring up at me. He melts my heart. I think he will be our little contemplater. Her always looks like he is in deep thought. He has no I.V. as of Friday night and no bilirubin lights. When I arrived today he was sporting his All Star onesie. It was so cool to see him in clothes. He barely fit in his preemie shirt. We have a lot of preemie clothes but oh well, I find it a blessing that he is as big as he is and I'm sure I will find someone who will need the preemie clothes. He loves being held and looking up at me, trying so hard to focus but his little eyes cross.

Mattea is a rock star as usual. Her one simple downfall are her bradycardias. She has frequent dips in her heart rate. Even though this is scary it is normal for her gestation. She also has no I.V.. She's still under the bili lights and will have her bili drawn today to find out if she can come out yet. She is a champion bottle feeder and breastfeeds great for small amount of time. She is absolutely gorgeous! She is so curious when she's out of her isolette. She follows voices and looks towards the window. When she is in her isolette she sometimes crosses her legs or puts one up in the air and just leaves it there. She is so funny.

We love these babies so much it is unreal. We can't wait for them to come home so our snuggling won''t be as limited. We know it'll be crazy but we are ready, as we have been for so very long now. We are so thnkful to God everyday for blessing them with such good health, good weight and such beautiful qualities. We just want to give them the world.

Speaking of giving them things. We sometimes feel pretty helpless with them there and us here, not being able to do anything for them. We know the one thing we can give them or I can give them and David can help me is breastmilk. It is an incredible nutrient and so much better for their little guts and brains when they are premature. I totally disagree with the whole "don't cry over spilled milk" theory. Next time your babies are in the NICU and it's 2 in the morning, you're cross eyed and recovering from major surgery, you're pumping with one eye open, you let the pump slip for just a second and you feel a mass of warm liquid run down your side, then tell me that. That is definately worth crying over.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Love Bugs Progress....

Back and forth, slow and unsure, but these little lovies are making progress just the same.

It has been a long couple of days between trying to recover from surgery, trying to keep up with what's going on with the babies and keeping our heads on straight. The babies are doing well over all.
Frankie is breathing room air on his own as of Sunday night, taking feedings through his feeding tube (in his nose) as of yesterday and started phototherapy today for jaundice. He is very feisty and loves to get on all fours and try to launch himself around. He is in an isolette now so I'm less worried abut him throwing himself over the edge. Today he had his hand over his mouth and looked like he was telling secrets-he is adorable, and when he gets upset he makes all these little wrinkly faces.
David continues to be on CPAP. He is basically breathing room air but getting a little help from the machine to keep his lungs inflated so he doesn't have to breath as hard. He does not like to be touched and gets very squirmy and upset when moved. He has a murmur that could be something or could be nothing. We should find out later today if he will have an ultrasound on his heart to differentiate it. Because of this, he has not started his tube feedings yet. He is also starting to get jaundice but hasn't quite made it under the bili lights yet. Today was the best day ever because I got the special treat of finally being allowed to hold him. I've barley even laid a finger on him since he was born and I think the nurse could sense my grief over this. She swaddled him up, tucked all the cords in and I got to cuddle with him in the rocking chair for about 20 minutes. It was wonderful. He was very calm and serene and held on to my finger tightly the whole time with his huge paw. I was hoping he would open his eyes but he didn't and that's okay. He knew I was with him and I gave him lots of kisses. He is beautiful and looks so much like his dad. I can't wait for him to be off CPAP so we can see his face better.
Update: David had his echo today and it showed that he has a PDA (patent ductus arteriosis). This is a duct in the heart that is supposed to close when a baby is born but sometimes it just doesn't happen,more often in preemies. So they will give him 3 doses of a drug called Indomethacin and recheck with another echo on Thursday to see if the duct closed. We hope this will work but if not, these rounds of medicine can be tried again. One step at a time...

Mattea is staying true to her rockstar self. She's been breathing on her own since she was born and also started her tube feedings yesterday which she has been tolerating well. She is also in an isolette under phototherapy lights. I got to change her diaper today and do kangaroo care (skin to skin holding) while she got her tube feeding. I love this because the nurse puts her through the top of my shirt and it's like she's in a little cave. She was laying on my belly with both of her legs spread out wide like a split. This probably has something to do with her beeing breech. She falls alseep like this because it's so comfy. I get sleepy too.

David has been up in the NICU a lot, geeting the hnag of baby care. He's amazed by meconium and how little and cute they are. It's hard right now since they can each only be held once a day. We have to take turns with them.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Yay for our little troopers....

They are doing so well. I got to have some skin to skin time with Mattea last night and kiss both of the boys. When dad went up to see the babies this morning, Mattea was still breathing on her own, Frankie is now breathing on his won and they think David is ready to come off the vent and beplaced on CPAP again. I am so proud of these little bugs.

David looks exactly like big David. The nurses think that Frankie looks like me and Mattea, it is up in the air. David thinks she looks like me. I think she has his nose and chin, I never fell asleep last night so I am going to try again now.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

More pics

Our Precious Love Bugs Are Here

They are finally here and boy, what an emotional ride this last week has been.

Yesterday morning we were told that I needed to be delivered because once again my platelets were low, below 100 this time. We were excited, scared and a whole host of emotions I couldn't begin to explain. So we get up to the other floor, I get 2 I.V.'s, one in each arm just to be safe, a liter of fluids, some of those hot netted panites and all that jazz. We are pretty much crapping our pants at the thought of it being over and how things would go and ya know, basically everything. Two hours later they come in and tell us we are getting bumped because we have a mother of twins in labor. They estimated an hour. An hour later the doc comes in to tell us we are not delivering because the redraw on my platelets came up and the NICU is full because they just got unexpected twins and if we had our babies they would have to be transferred out to Children's Hospital. We were like what the living hell at that point, just emotionally drained beyond comprehension.

This morning same story except each time the platelets (first draw) are getting lower, Once again they tell us I need to be delivered. I could not believe it, would not. I wouldn't believe it until the needle was in my back.

Low and behold at 12:23, 12:24 and 12:25 we finally met our beautiful angels. Each one came out crying. David was so eXcited to see everything happening. He was able to take some great photos and even watched them finish my surgery, amazed at how big my uterus was. He was so strong.

So, Mattea weighed in at 4.1 and a whopping 19 inches. I don't have the paper in front of me with sll of the details but Frankie weighed 4.5 and David weighed 5.6, These are GREAT weights for this gestation. They are obviously all in the NICU and will be for several weeks or longer. Mattea is breathing room air so needs no oxygen and is doing great. She is the smallest and doing great, not suprise there. Both boys had some trouble with breathing and were placedon CPAP (continuos positive airway pressure). They both had x rays which showed fluid on their lungs. They both have Respiratory Distress Syndrome but David has it a little worse so they had to intubate him and put him on a ventilator as well as give him some medicine to help his lungs out.

I am going to try and post some pictures. I am super tired. It took me about an hour to type this because I am on a Dilaudid PCA and extremely tired so we'll see if it works. We love them so much and feel so blessed....

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Yes, No, Maybe So...

As of this morning the decision was made to book the O.R. and deliver me due to these nasty headaches an my dropping platelets. I called everyone, texted everyone and the decision has changed once again. I should have known better than to tell anyone or to set my mind to thinking I was meeting my lovies tommorow. The reasoning behind this is sort of complicated and frustrating but I will try to explain the best I can.

I started having some nasty headaches about 2 1/2 weeks ago. They hurt worse when I was laying down or coughing and didn't improve with Tylenol so that is one of the reasons I was admitted into the hospital. In addition to that my platelets have been dropping slowly.

I was seen my Neurology the other day and had an MRI which came out unremarkable. They wanted to do a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) but ended up deciding against it because the medicine (Fioricet) I was taking at the time was helping a little. The catch is, the medicine would only help a little and only for a little while. I was also seen by Hematology/Oncology about my platelets. They drew labs and looked at my blood under a microscope for any fragmentation but came up with nothing so they chalked the low platelets up to pregnancy.

Today they started me on a different medication, Dilaudid. The medicine is great for relaxing me and helping me rest but just isn't helping the headache much. Because of this, they now want to go ahead with the lumbar puncture to rule out any increased intracranial pressure or imbalance of spinal fluid. If for some reason I had this they would give me a medication, such as a diuretic to decrease it. They feel they don't want to take the babies out early if they don't absolutely have to. They would really like to see me make it to 34 weeks. I would too if it weren't for these headaches. So I've decided to keep my trap shut from now on and not tell anyone that I'm going to deliver unless I've already done so.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Quick update

Just a quick update. My labs stayed exactly the same today. My headache is much worse and the medication I'm taking for it is doing nothing.

The good news is that we had an ultrasounds today and it showed that the babies are measuring pretty large. A is measuring 4.5, B 4.6 and C 5.11. Now, they think A and Care closer to 5 pounds but had a really hard time finding the limbs to measure because right now everything is mushed together. They are pretty sure that B is as big as the measurement. That would be int he 80th percentile for a singelton so I am happy about that. I am 32.4 weeks today.

And so we wait, no answers, no date set yet, just baking babies, having horrid headaches and waiting to see if my platelets continue to fall. The saga continues...

It's All About Finding a Balance

Yes, that is what is going on. I am here in the hospital and I am still having these horrid headaches. They are giving me Fioricet which helps but only for a short period of time. My MRI came out clear which is obviously great news. They have decided to fore go the lumbar puncture because they think the headaches are related to the pregnancy or just plain old migraines. Although it's not common to get migraines every day. So that's that for that aspect.

The next is my labs. So, they thought I may be developing HELLP or Preeclampsia. both conditions associated with pregnancy that are quite serious and can be slow developing or very fast developing. However, with these conditions, the blood pressure is usually elevated and mine hasn't been sinve I have been here. What is happening is that my uric acid is rising by the day and my platelets are decreasing each day. Uric acid is an indication of kidney function and platelets control the ability of your blood to clot. They're not as worried about the uric acid as they are about the platelets. If the platelets continue to drop it increases the chance that I will have to have general anesthesia during my c-section, otherwise risks complications from an epidural ,one being permanent paralysis. If this is the case then I essentially won't be present for the birth of my babies and David will also not be as he won't bealoowed in the O.R.. This is heart wrenching for us as we have waited so long for that moment,not to mention the recovery for me would be harder.

In addition to us not being able to be present for the delivery, general anesthesia can pose complications to a full term infant, not to mention three with immature lung. One aspect we have in our favor is that I have received the round of steroids to help hasten the devleopment of our little lovies lungs. So, now we weigh the options. Do we wait to give the babies more time in the womb to mature, knowing that my platelets may continue to drop and general may be required or do we take them out sooner?

I will have more labs drawn this morning and see the Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist and once again, the minds will converge and decide at least what the short term goal is.

Monday, August 10, 2009


Okay, so there was a chance I'd be delivered toady but it's probably not going to happen. I saw my high risk doc this morning and my blood pressure was fine and my cervix has lengthened-go figure. This is always the case when I think I know what's going to happen. I've learned with this pregnancy not to plan ahead, to take it day to day. One concerning thing from my visit was the constant headache I've had. The doc was concerned so her sent me over here to the hospital for a neurology consult. He was worried about the prospects of increased intracranial pressure among other strange things that can happen. So he figured why not add another PIH eval. And so here we are...
My labs were drawn. Once again, my platelets are droppingm my uric acid is rising and so is my creatinine,but my liver enzymes remain fine. It's all so strange. I saw a Neuro med student and am waiting on the resident to further assess me but in the meantime they want to admit me for a 24 hour urine and to monitor the labile blood pressure. I may be here until I deliver or I may not. I may deliver tommorow, I may deliver 3 weeks from now. It is all just a huge roller coaster which by the way has been completely exhausting. And to think I"ve been one of the lucky ones who has not had to be admitted this pregnancy so I don't know why I'm complaining. So, if anything more exciting should happen I shall make it known.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Dear babies...

I can't believe you may be here with us within the next four days . The thought is so overwhelming that I just cannot wrap my head around it. As hard as I try to imagine holding you, kissing you, touching you, in my mind it still seems so far away. I've been dreaming of this day for so many years now and for so many years thought it may never happen. Now it is inevitable and still, still, I just won't believe it until the moment is here. It'snot tangible enough for me, not even with all of the appointments, the 9 weeks of bedrest, the huge melon under my ribs, even the feeling of movement in my womb. A part of me feels like it is a cruel trick, a dream still lingering.
I wonder if you'll greet me with loud hardy cries when you emerge or if you will keep me in suspense, quiet until forced to be ready for the world too soon. I wonder what you'll look like, if you'll have hair, or even if your features will distinguish you from your dad or I. I wonder what your personalities will be like. I wonder how long it will be before I actually get to see you, touch you and even hold you. I hope and pray that you're ready for this world and I can't wait to meet you. I love you.....

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Monday or Tuesday??

So, today was the second day I was told I might be delivered. My BP was up again. Sooooooo, over to the hospital I trekked again to have labs drawn. Of ocurse when I got there my BP was pretty stable. My labs continue to be acceptable but they are creeping into the not acceptable area. I got my walking papers and once again stepped off the scary rollercoaster I've been riding since last week. I have had such a healhty pregnancy that I never expected to have blood pressure issues but 1 out of 3 carriers of multiples has bP issues so I shouldn't take it personally.

So tonight I'm just trying to calm my nerves with a little bit of Bejeweled and I get a call from my OB. She was checking up on me because I was at the high risk docs today and didn't see her. She told me in her words,"I think we'll be delivering these babies on Monday or Tuesday." Now, I never know what to make of these statements. Will I go Monday and everything will be miraculously perfect and I'll be on my merry way home? Maybe, but she did say that if I check out okay she may just admit me into the hospital for further observation and keep me there until my labs go yucky enough to be delivered. I've never felt such conflicting feelings. I am petrified of having 3 preemies, of not knowing how well they'll do, I'm glad I've had the steroids to help develop their lungs, I'm exicited to meet them yet overwhelmed at doing so so soon. I just don't know what to think. I don't see how it could be humanly possible to get even a wink of sleep from now until Monday.

In addition to the crazy day I had, I recieved an amazing text message right before the nurse told me I would need to go over to the hospital. Some of you who know me well know that I do pediatric home care and have been caring for the same young girl for a little over a year now. She has mitochondrial disease and has been waiting on organs for a multi-visceral transplant that would includes liver, stomach, intestines and pancrea. These transplants are rarely done. Anyway, the text was tolet me know the organs came through and the surgery is currently underway. Talk about so many things being thrown at me at once. Oh my lord, what a frickin' day.....

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

31.3 Weeks

Yesterday was a fun filled day of appointments. First we saw my OB. I found out that I had lost a pound, had protein in my urine and my blood pressure was elevated. Now, my blood pressure has flipped flopped the last few visits so I wasn't entirely suprised. Some days it's high and other days it's low but I hadn't had protien in my urine yet and with the headaches I've been getting, I was a little nervous. The doc sent me off with a lab slip and told me that if my liver enzymes were elevated that I would have likely been delivered today. It scares me how things can move so quick. I certainly wasn't ready for that.

Then it was off to my high risk doc, where my bp was still elevated. He wasn't overly concerned but wants to see me back on Thursday just to keep a closer eye on it. He said that "delivery is closing in, something is going to get me and I may as well pick my poison." I don't want it to be pre-eclampsia. There was also a little protein in my urine there. The babies look great. They did not measure them this week but they are all squirming around in there and one of them, I believe Baby A is engaged in my pelvis which is probably why I have been feeling so much pain when I walk. My cervix looks great and has not shortened at all since last week and remains closed-woohoo!

I didn't get my lab results back until after 6 which totally had me on edge, waiting, wondering if I would be meeting my babies today. The labs were considered acceptable or within normal limits to my doctor so they will just continue to watch me. However, the labs were a little screwy and the doc thinks maybe I'm dehydrated. I don't see how that is possible because I literally drink about 150oz water a day. I believe that my labs are showing the beginings of PIH. BUT, I am not the doctor so I will have faith in their interpretations and let them guide the way. Of course I am not ready to meet these babies and I'll lay here in bed and drown myself out before I let something like dehydration take me out. I can't really control my bp so if that is my poison then so it shall be.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

31 Weeks and still going...

Yahoo! Today is the we turn 31 weeks. It sounds sort of strange. Maybe I should say today is the day we have made it to 31 weeks or reached 31 weeks. It's all relative. This week had us wondering if we would reach today so every day continues to be a milestone. Thursday we took another trip to the good old B.I.(Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center), as I will refer to it. I thought I was leaking amniotic fluid. It was just pee-another glorious part of having three 4 pounds infant cruising around on my bladder. We spent 5 hours there which always rots but were assured that everything was fine when we left. I think that trip woke the babies up because in the preceding days they had been so inactive no matter what I did. Since then I feel like they've been swimming around in circles in my giant belly.
So the body has been tested this week greatly, between the steroid shots,the leaking, the massive heartburn, the difficulty breathing. I must add that pregnancy causes a 50% blood volume increase. Some days I feel it more than others and the other night I felt like someone was hanging me upside down. Yesterday was a good day and today is just starting so I hope it will be a good day as well. However, any day the babies stay put is a good day. I have gone from thinking we would deliver this week to thinking maybe we will last a few more weeks. The not knowing is enough to drive anybody nuts but is just part of the territory.I'm already looking at pictures and videos of other peoples babies and mourning ours growing big too soon. I know just how fast these little people go from being newborns to big babies to toddlers and so on and I swear I already miss them being babies. I will try to take some more pictures later today and post them for all to ooh and ahh at the amazing capabilities of the human uterus.